Man! We all have them. Problems, Issues, Mistakes, Situations. So does it ever seem like you drop everything to help friends and family, yet the same is not reciprocated? Sure. I feel the same way. There are several things to ponder here.

Balance is one. God does expect us to focus on others, to be a good neighbor and to be selfless. You have got to start at home first. And you've got to start with yourself. Why would I say that in the same breath as God expecting us to be selfless? Well, because we sometimes confuse nurturing ourselves with being selfish. They are entirely two different behaviors. You cannot be there as a sounding board, cheerleader or problem solver if you are at a deficit personally. So take time to care for you and give yourself the things you need.

Secondly consider what will best help the person with the problem. Do they just need you to empathize? Are they in need of your time as a friend? Or are they blood sucking leeches that force you to screen their calls. I added the last one for humor but there is some truth to it. Some people will suck the very life out of you if you allow them. And that, my friends, is a deal-breaker. Some folks play the,"Yes, but," game with you. Every alternative you give them they have an excuse as to why it won't work. They are wasting your time and their own being a whiner.

Here's a strategy to help: Offer empathy and re-direct. You do want to let them know you hear what they are saying. Then re-direct the ball in their court or re-direct the conversation down a different path. This should be subtle yet firm. Sooner or later they will get the message and not use your sleeve to cry on because you are not giving them futile or condoning attention.

Lastly consider those who need your help the most. The ones you don't notice. The ones you haven't talked to. Seek them out and let God give you the discernment. Pick up on what's between the lines and allow God to use you as an instrument of His peace. They are not always obvious but there is always someone there that God has place in your care and you didn't even know it.