Yes. There are, “friends,” who are not emotionally healthy for you and are actually a detriment to your well being. I have experience every one listed here. Maybe you have too. Let’s take a look.

The Energy Zapper – Brace yourself! “The Energy Zapper,” will wear you out! They always need a favor. And they may sometimes even guilt you into helping them. This friend is not concerned so much about you because it’s all about them. Their job, their problems, their dreams and their goals are the topics of the day. 

The Catty Gossip – We all know them. They gain their power from, “Being in the Know.” “The Catty Gossip,” has an opinion about everyone. They’ll tell you who is cheating on their spouse, who got an undeserved raise and who they think dresses like a slut. Do not confide in the Catty Gossip. If they talk about other people to you, they will also talk about you to other people.

The One- Way Whiner – When you see their number come up on your phone, you roll your eyes or sigh. You may even say out loud, “I do not have time for this call.” Do not give, “The One-Way Whiner,” any solutions for their problems because they always have an excuse for why that won’t work. You can’t get a word in edgewise because they go on and on and on.

The Maybe Menace – Now you see them; now you don’t. They tell you they’ll be there for your presentation, but they are a no show. They say, “Let’s hang out Friday,” but they never call. “The Maybe Menace,” is about as dependable as a weather forcast. They create anxiety for you because the behavior sends the message, “I had something more important to do.”

The Betrayer – You confided everything. You thought they were a close friend, maybe even your best friend and then it happened. They did something so cruel and so calculated that it felt like a punch in the gut. It’s hard to recover; expect that. A good quote here is, “When someone shows you who they really are, believe them! ~ Maya Angelou.”  Just learn.

The Controller - This friend is actually very insecure. “The Controller,” feels they have to be loud, bossy, and even rude to get their point across. They treat people poorly, take all the credit and are very critical of everyone around them. They say things like, “Well if it were me, I would…” Their way is the right way and the only way or you get the cold shoulder.

With these unproductive friends, the key element is they don’t care about you. When all is said and done, it’s about them and that’s all. When friendships are one-sided there is no give and take, no encouragement, and no emotional investment. If you don’t enjoy each other or learn from each other there is no purpose for the friendship. We all need to hang out with people who call forth our very best. There are no, “frenemies.” Kick them to the curb and don’t look back.